| Sing to me |
[26 May 2005|10:05pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
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music |
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Dandy Warhols- "Bohemian Like You" |
] |
Cell Phone Love ♥
I finally got ittttt !
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[22 May 2005|09:16pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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I miss Robbi
:'(
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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| Just because I dress like this, doesnt mean im a communist |
[20 May 2005|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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Billy Bragg- "The Passion" |
] |
Schools out for me.!!!@#$%&*#
I finished my exams and now i'm out!!
hoo-ray
I gave everyone hugs. Even Zain, whom I haven't spoken to in a long time, I really miss him, he was one of my best friends and then we kind of stopped talking :(
I danced in the rain today also
love me?
<3
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[15 May 2005|09:59pm] |
I have a best friend
Her name is mary elizabeth hawkins
also known as : Maris
She's the craziest girl eva & everyone should love her.
Together we are undefeatable:
GET THAT
KIPPER PAPER TEAP?
Yes, I love her.
<3
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| aww |
[15 May 2005|07:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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le tigre- |
] |
yeahhh so the hair dying thing didnt work
oh well.
Sam called me from houston to tell me he's on his way home and that he loves me
That was so sweet, I love him
<3
I got confirmed today.
It was nerve wracking.
errr.
After I went to Mary's for a party
it was partilicious.
kbye
<3
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[14 May 2005|10:27pm] |
After confirmation tommorow i'm dying my hair
As is Mary.
Say goodbye to
It shall be blonde.
I'm nervous.
er.
<3
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| ngr please |
[12 May 2005|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Aarons cd <3 |
] |
My lover is leaving me for Texas.
I love Sam. : (
I honestly do.
Mary is comming over tommorow!
we're gonna camp in the backyard! haha
Its gonna be so rad
I love mary!
I had guitar lessons today.
Aaron gave me a cd with his songs on it
its so good
its one of my fav. cds now.
the end.
<3
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| And whoa when it started my first thought was love |
[11 May 2005|09:07pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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Dier Straits - "Sultans Of Swing" |
] |
Today I:
+ Loved my lover.
- cut phillips hair. He was mad, you cant tell its cut...but we hugged. haha
+ Made rockets with Maris and Phillis and Michael.
Me and mary's were the best.
It had a weird looking hotel clerk on it and a sign that said "wow. a leather."
It was rad.
thats my day.
Life is full of excitement, you know?
♥ Han!nah
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[10 May 2005|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
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music |
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Blonde Redhead- "water" |
] |
+ 4 people told me my hair was soft today
they also asked me what shampoo I used
+ I love my Sam today, More than yesterday
And I will love him even more tommorow.
+ I was supposed to call Robbi today
But I could not obtain my phone
But I really wanted to talk to her :(
+ I latched onto mary again, today
And I screamed so people thought I was dying.
+ I also latched onto ronnie
And he basically dragged me to the bus stop
+ My friend andrew just asked me to dance with him
I magically appeared wasted in his car once
He took me to mcdonalds
What a pal.
+ This weekend i'm hanging out with Preller
At least I hope I am, thats the plan
I want to! I love her. Shes my friend.
+ I meditated today
I love my life Today
♥ Han!nah
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[09 May 2005|08:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
] |
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music |
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The Blood Brothers - "Ambulance VS. Ambulance" |
] |
Sometimes when I listen to music...like when I listen to Blonde Redhead, I feel like I could scream. I feel like my skins comming right off me or something. I feel like a whole bunch of bones. Its like some music's got a direct line to my insides, and when I hear it, I go crazy all over, crazy and turned-on and hysterical and so different from the way I look to everyone on the outside that when I look in the mirror, I dont really recognize myself. Its like I want to have sex when I feel like that, and then I think i'm pretty crazy and I cant tell anyone those feelings...except now.
I had this dream last night, Where me and about all my friends were all in a single filed line facing a river. Just sitting on the grass, facing the river. I was somewhere in the middle of Ronnie and Sam and I could see Trey and Mary about 4 people in front of me. This boy Joey was sitting in a chair beside me and he looked so beat up, torn up, out of place. He was staring at me, his eyes were teary. He muttered something towards me but I couldn't quite hear it, but it made me cry as well. I looked ahead and I saw Rob, happy as can be, and his motorcycle was beside him. I saw Ben, and he had his hood up and there was a railroad right beside the river and he had a dirtbike beside him and it was making me so nervous. Sam was infront of me. He looked at me and said I love you, and I said it back. But something was wrong with me...I dont understand why, but I got up and ran straight to the river, and I saw all the rapids hitting these sharp rocks, rocks so sharp they were like spikes comming straight out of the water, and I jump at them, and I wake up real quick like i've been thrown in a pool of cold water or something. I dont even know how it started. You can never tell how anything is when you just wake up like that.
My father took me out on his motorcycle at about 7 PM. It was marvelous. We rode around to sullivans and it was so beautiful watching the sunset reflect off the water. The blues, yellows, oranges, purples, all colliding together to make a perfect painting right there in front of you. Oh so beautiful.
God or man, no one could look in on her in joy. Her legs--and there are twelve--are like great tentacles, unjointed, and upon her serpents necks are borne six heads like nightmares of ferocity, with triple serried rows of fangs and deep gullets of black death. Half her length, she sways her heads in air, outside her horrid cleft, hunting the sea around that promontory for dolphins, dogfish, or what bigger game thundering Amphitrite feeds in thousands. And no ships company can claim to have passed her without loss and grief she takes, from every ship, one man for every gullet
♥ Han!nah
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[08 May 2005|08:42pm] |
Under my bed has always scared me. I remember times long ago when I used to jump to get on it rather than risk putting my feet too close to the bottom, simply because I thought that the 'boogie man' was waiting for me under my bed. Now I'm not so sure about that, I'm more scared to go outside of my house - mostly because I know that the boogie man is waiting for me somewhere out there. I sware I've seen him before, in every person I see walking aimlessly through the world. All of my teachers, all of my friends. Anyone can potentially be a boogie-man.
I'm not so worried about those close to me as those who are not. I know the people close to me, and I know that they would probably not make the ideal boogie man. It's all of the other people that really grind my nerves, not in an annoying way, but in a nervous way. I'm still not comfortable around new people - never have been. It's one of the reasons, I'm convinced that I've met the future Hitler or saddam many times before. Boogie man = world tyrant for me, in case you hadn't picked that up.
Here are some words to describe me:
nervous, closed, weak, observant, broken, busted, blackened, deep, analytical, mistrusting, difficult, nonsensical, everywhere, nowhere, nothing, something, wisher, listener, stubborn, clingy, romantic, heavy hearted, emotional, dreary, slight, doomed, intellectual, predator, packrat, blind, in love.
And thats my story.
I suck at life.
yay
but
i'm in love.
damnit.
rawr
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| I'm in love |
[07 May 2005|10:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Modest Mouse- "Gravity Rides Everything" |
] |
It was really hot today, at least to me. So hot it was as if the ground had to crack just to let the dirt underneath breathe.
Its so quiet in my house I can hear every noise my body made. My hands on the keyboard, my breathing, my body shifting...everything. This silence is sort of making me uncomfortable. Sometimes I think i'm going crazy because if it gets this quiet and I close my eyes and stop breathing for a second, I swear to God I can hear the words comming right out of my head: "You'll Leave. You'll leave." Strong then calm, like waves. I clench my fists so hard when I hear them, so hard that my nails make sharp half-moon marks on my palms.
I bought a book today. Its called Orpheus Emerged by Jack Kerouac. So far its pretty good. And thats the excitement of my day, besides the fact that I went to Wando's soccer game tonight and got in a fight with a 40 year old woman. Heres my story: I was at the wando soccer game with my dad and my brother...and like, they just went down to get food so I was by myself, and for some reason I was really excited about this game, and the reff made a shitty ass call and so I was getting all pissed and yelling at him, and the lady in front of me was for the other team, so she was all "YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN" and I was like "YEAH I DO! I FUCKING NO MORE THAN YOU! I PLAYED SOCCER FOR 8 YEARS! GO HOME ASSHOLE!" and then I stole her kids animal crackers. And thats my story. God i'm such a bitch. err.
I'm so tired, yet so awake.
♥ Han!nah
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| Love is a battlefield.. |
[06 May 2005|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Pat Benetar- "Love Is A Battlefield" |
] |
Trying to control my life can sometimes be like trying to stand on a bar of soap in the shower and balance yourself - in other words, nearly impossible. I think though, once I think about it, that I like it like that - keeps things interesting, which in turn keeps me thinking, which in turn even still keeps me going. So, it's all a cycle, nice way of defining it.
Love, many teenagers don't think there is such a thing. We all go through times where such things seem to be nothing more than a hormonal fancy, one that we can't grab on to and hold tight. 1 in 3 teenage relationships are abusive, 2 in 3 fail. Those aren't pretty numbers to look at, but they do give you a little something to go on. I tend to shy away from the majority, thus far I've done so quite successfully.
Oh I love him, he is wonderful ♥
So I was reading all my old yearbooks from Middleschool and they sure brought back memories. I saw one, from 6th grade, and there was this stupid girl named Pini and I couldn't stand her, and one time, I threw my whole lunch tray at her head because she did something that made me angry. What kind of name is Pini anyway? It reminds me of some kind of italian food! Jeez. Well. I was also reading my yearbook from last year, and my teacher, Mr. McCurly, signed it and said : "Hannah, sit down, feet off the desk, no book? Do your work. Not doing homework? I bet you'll miss it." har har, I loved him. He was the only science teacher I ever liked...even though I did purrrty bad in there.
♥ Han!nah
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| Whats that writing on your everything? |
[05 May 2005|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Garbage- "Queerest of the Queers" |
] |
Looking out the window I can see the rain pouring down...and as each drop slowly hits the ground a huge gust of wind pushes the water across the street. Its beautiful. As I look up at the sky it looks as if the clouds are each racing. They are moving faster than usual--like they are racing to the sun. The sky is like a canvas. I love the sound of heavy winds racing across my windows, and the sound of rain drops hitting the roof. To me its somewhat peaceful.
♥ Han!nah
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| We lived in a craterrrrrrr |
[04 May 2005|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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grateful |
] |
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music |
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The Unicorns- "Tuff Luff" |
] |
I feel great! [But then again I dont] I really mean it.I have to remember this for the next time i'm having a terrible week. Have you ever done that? You feel really bad and then it goes away and you dont know why. I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week comming someday, so i should store up as many great details as I can and believe that i'll feel great again. It doesnt work a lot, but I think its very important to try.
Honestly, I have mixed feelings on how I feel.
That sounded so dumb.
Acctually, I really dont feel that great.
On the way home today I was listening to some of the songs we listened to those times when we were infinite. And I pretended they were in the car with me.
Robbi is definately wayyyyy cuter! [I win :)]
♥ Han!nah
R.I.P
Ben VanKoevering ♥
Rob Black ♥
Michael Mazzio ♥
You are all missed && loved.
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angry